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Bryan Adams Is A Fraud

from Don't Die by The Russian Futurists x Jordache

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about

Bryan Adams refuses to acknowledge the fine men and women who died in our conquest to land on the moon in his classic song Summer Of 69. I have a problem with that but am willing to negotiate with him if he agrees to change the lyrics, Get at me, Bryan.

lyrics

I stood up for you, I bore the brunt for us, I could find something new but think of the lives that we’d crush
Some days I’m like “fuck it” I grab the liquor and go ill, but this well’s been poisoned; that Bel Biv Devoe feele
My blood’s boiling like oatmeal, the nihilism is so real, can’t see the trees for the forest, a lost bunch of explorers
Ernest Shackleton stuck in the ice, but we’re more like the Donners, the heart’s a pointless device, let’s admit that we’re goners
We landed on the moon and never went back, rocks and goddamn air-fueled jetpacks
There’s nothing left to see here, there’s nothing left, let me be clear
I put in time in the Gulag, just a Pope in a durag, I’ve been a pig dressed in gold leaf, a white shark with gold teeth
I’ve been a prince, been a pauper, time repeats Cyndi Lauper, all I have to offer are cobwebs in my coffers
I’ve been a filth-ridden rat king, I’ve been fingers in bat wings, still a colossal fossil, the judge and jury of awful
I’ve been songs on transistors, I’ve been blood I’ve been blisters, I’ve been tornadoes and twisters, I see her face and I miss her
We landed on the moon and never went back, rocks and goddamn air-fueled jetpacks
There’s nothing left to see here, there’s nothing left, let me be clear
I’ve been Buzz fucking Aldrin, I drank from the cauldron, been the last to go home and stayed up til it’s all gone
I’ve been a filth-ridden rat king, I’ve been fingers in bat wings, still a colossal fossil, the judge and jury of awful
I’ve been songs on transistors, I’ve been blood I’ve been blisters, I’ve been tornadoes and twisters, I see her face and I miss her
Ernest Shackleton stuck in the ice, but we’re more like the Donners, the heart’s a pointless device, let’s admit that we’re goners
We landed on the moon and never went back, rocks and goddamn air-fueled jetpacks
There’s nothing left to see here, there’s nothing left, let me be clear

credits

from Don't Die, released October 31, 2022

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